Old King Tut

Transcript

♪ Say, mister? Yes? Can you tell me where King Toot-Toot and Cummings-Toom is?

Ha ha ha ha ha! Why, tut-tut-tut-tut, my boy. You mean King Tut-Tunk-Almonds-Toom.

Atta boy, that's the fella I want. Do you know anything about him? Do I know anything about him?

Well, just you listen to me. Three thousand years ago, in history we know, King Tut-Tunk-Almond ruled a mighty land. He ruled for many years, mid laughter, song, and tears.

He made a record that will always stand. Why, they opened up his tomb the other day and jumped with glee. They learned a lot of ancient history.

You know, King Tut-Tut-Tut had a common day beneath the public eye. King Tut-Tut-Tut was very wise. You know, King Tut-Tut-Tut was always gay.

Cleopatra, she sat upon his knee. Tut, that's where she sat. The girls would dance for him and every move a treat.

Uh-huh. They'd move and move and move, but never move their feet. A thousand girls would dance each day with lots of hip-hip-hip-hooray.

You know, King Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut was King Tutty's day. His tomb instead appears, what full of souvenirs. He must have traveled greatly in his time.

Why, the gold and silverware that they found hidden there was from hotels of every land that flies. While going through his royal robes, they found up in his sleeve the first love letter Adam wrote to Eve. You know, King Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut was King Tutty's day.

The dancers, then in style, wouldn't even make the old thing smile. You know, King Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut was King Tutty's day. On the devil's hands, old King Tutty's band played while maidens swayed.

They danced for old King Tutty, who lit skies so warm. They wore Tut-Tutty's smiles and wore him Tutty's form. They danced for him, both fat and thin.

He didn't care a darn what shape they were in. You know, King Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut was King Tutty's day. You know, King Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut was King Tutty's day.

There was no Mr. Heinz with fifty-seven different kinds. You know, King Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut was King Tutty's day.

The pieces of that land, they were never tanned. Pairs loved anywhere. Why, Sam, from Alabama, would not run one, two, three.

Oh, what a mark you'd be for old Mark Antony. Why, Valentino, as a king, he wouldn't last a half a week. You know, King Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut-Tut was King Tutty's day.

Transcribed by AI from the recording above. These are noisy hundred-year-old cylinders, so expect misheard words and the occasional invented line — trust your ears over the text.