Clancy's Wooden Wedding (Comic song)

Transcript

Clancy's Wooden Wedding, sung by Edward Meeker, Edison Records. Five years ago last Sunday night that Clancy took a wife, was little Bridget Daly who would stick to him for life. He gave a wooden wedding the event to celebrate, sent out invitations to his friends both poor and great, how each one was supposed to bring a present made of wood.

Some of the things they brought were bad and some were very good. It looked as though a lumberyard exploded in the room when Clancy had a wedding made of wood. Now the first one to get there was Clancy's cousin Dan.

He brought for a present a Japanese fan. Big Tim Maloney as neat as a pin, he brought a cradle for to rock the baby in. Murphy brought a sawn horse and Cassidy a tray.

O'Brien sent a cord of wood for which he didn't pay. Gillen sent a keg of beer to keep the spirits up. Patrick Joseph Murphy sent a wooden bathtub.

There was wood that came from China, wood that came from Spain, wood from Jerusalem across the raging Maine. Wood that came from Russia, sent by the Tsar. Wood that came from Ireland, enough to build a car.

Wood that came from England, wood that came from Wales. Wood that came from Scotland and wood that came from jail. They passed around the whiskey and they passed around the ale.

The glasses wasn't big enough, they used a wooden pail. Everyone was feeling good, no one was feeling dry. All were in the glory and the glory it was high.

Someone asked Clancy, would he sing a song? Clancy said he would, but his voice was gone. Big Tim Maloney gave a recitation, all about the kinds of wood that grew in every nation.

To hold such a racket, I can't keep it mum. O'Brien called Maloney an educated bum. Up jumped Maloney and he hit him such a whack, he raised up a hump in the middle of his back.

That was a signal and they all commenced to fight. The women hollered murder and they said it wasn't right. Murphy threw the poker and hit a hole of hand.

O'Brien threw the kettle and he threw the frying pan. Patrick Joseph Murphy threw the window dome. Maloney sat down on a red hot stove.

All kinds of wood was playing through the air. Brady hit a Brady with the rung of a chair. Murphy grabbed Sullivan and threw him on the bed.

Sat him with a clothespin and left him there for dead. The police grabbed 25 and 30, got away. Took them up before the judge the very next day.

Judge looked them over and before him they stood. He gave them 60 days in jail. They're all on wood.

Transcribed by AI from the recording above. These are noisy hundred-year-old cylinders, so expect misheard words and the occasional invented line — trust your ears over the text.