Don't Go Any Further

Transcript

If you meet a winsome maid, rolling through a leafy parade, very, very carefully, always draw the line. If there is a twilight show, and listen to the daisies grow, it's a lip from so-and-so, so they create and find that if she marries Carol, I love that she will know. I'm a lovely goose, dear, take me for your own.

Let me down your socks, bet I'll stick to you for life. Don't go any further, they might offend the wife. If you're married, serve your rights, and come home from the club one night, find the gasman, there'll be the only you can see, right beyond the gasman's knee.

Take this little advice from me, don't be a silly ass. Clean your hat and coat off, roll your sleeves up too, get prepared to punch him, till he's black and blue. But if someone tells you he's a hand that weighs a ton, don't go any further, kick the door and run.

With the buxom country lad, you're a-climbing on the grass, or at once a busy bee settles on the mist. If the girl is unaware that the fun will be in fair, it's no use giving her a scare, for ignorance is bliss. So if she feels a bit crawling, and cries, oh what a pest, there's something wrong with me, it's yours, so find it to yourself.

But if you're a down thing, to be politely rude, don't go any further, send for Gerard Owens, and if he's not available, send for me.

Transcribed by AI from the recording above. These are noisy hundred-year-old cylinders, so expect misheard words and the occasional invented line — trust your ears over the text.