The Kilty Lads

Transcript

When a soldier in his kilties, he goes walking down the street with his military stride and he's been at my side. Oh, the lassies stare at him before he passes by, and then you'll see them smiling with a twinkle of the eye. Oh, the bonnet lassies love the kiltie lad, in love or war they know we're always true.

And well they know that we, for a bonnet lass we'd be, the kiltie laddies love the lassies too. Oh, the bonnet lassies love the kiltie lad, in love or war they know we're always true. And well they know that we, for a bonnet lass we'd be, the kiltie laddies love the lassies too.

You'd see me on a Sunday when I'm scrolling through the park. I'm as straight as I can be, and my chest as big as three. And I've only got to wave my cane and give my head a tilt.

And then the laddies follow me and they criticize the kilt. I'm telling you, we absolutely knocked the stuffin' out of the lifeguards. Oh, and I can prove it.

And I don't need to move off of the spot that I'm standing on to do it either. I'm telling you, if some of you boys had been with me last July up at the camp, it was awful. In fact, it was awful awful.

We absolutely couldn't get moving for the girls. Well do you know how bad it was when we had to put a six feet six inch fence round about the camp to keep them out? And then they got in.

If it had been sixty feet high they would have got over the top of it. Still mind you that here, I'm just going to tell you this. And this is on the quay, between you and I, there was a very dirty trick played on the girls the night before the camp broke up.

There was. I never seen a dirtier trick all my life. Of course mind you, we have our suspicions who done it.

We're blaming the colonel for it. Do you know who he put on the fence? Huh?

You don't? Well I'll tell you. Birdline.

I'm telling you, we had a job in the morning picking them off before we left. They were sticking on the fence like spurs. Of course, mind you, the lassies knew that us fellas had nothing to do with it because we love the lassies too much.

And of course, the fellas know that. Oh, the bonnie lassies love the guilty lads. In love or war they know we're always true.

And well they know that we, for a bonnie lass we'll be. The guilty lasses love the lassies too. Oh, the bonnie lassies love the guilty lads.

In love or war they know we're always true. And well they know that we, for a bonnie lass we'll be. The guilty lasses love every bloomin' lass you get to die on.

You're gonna beat the kilt. I'm telling you, we're the boys, us fellas. And I don't want to say any more.

The News. Good night. So long.

The News.

Transcribed by AI from the recording above. These are noisy hundred-year-old cylinders, so expect misheard words and the occasional invented line — trust your ears over the text.